Blog How To Make Me Come

Why Vaginas Need More Love, With The Blogger Behind 'How To Make Me Come'

The other day we presented you with a post on female orgasms. More specifically, a Tumblr that's been erected in its honour:How To Make Me Come, a digital anthology written by women for women (and their partners), ft. erotic nonfiction, effective guides, honest Q&As, and practical advice pertaining the female 'O'.

Sample post:

We reached out to anonymous female voice behind the URL to talk about her empowering idea and the global media attention its received of of late, whether it's OK to fake an orgasm, and other misconceptions about the enigma that is vaginal satisfaction.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

Why was it so important to you to create an outlet HTMMC, and what do you hope it can do for others?

HTMMC is a platform to share and learn. Being this open about sex, particularly the negative or frustrating elements of sex can be difficult to discuss, even with someone you trust. There seems to be this pressure for adults to be experts on our own sexuality, which in reality is continually evolving. With HTMMC, I hope that our [women's] feelings surrounding climax continue to be heard and that we can be more open about them, and that this combination of expression and engagement results in some super hot orgasm that bring women joy and satisfaction.

Since you started the blog in August, it's received worldwide media coverage. What kind of feedback have you received from readers?

The blog has grown very organically and hundreds of thousands of people from across the globe have checked it out, [which has been] wonderful to see. It confirms that the female orgasm is something we have not paid enough attention to.

How can people make submissions?

The initial contributions came from a particular group of women. I reached out to some friends, who reached out to some friends, who reached out to some friends. I am definitely interested in getting more submissions that represent a wider range of identities and experiences and I'm still assessing the best way to make that happen with such a small team behind the site.

Of the 72 submissions currently on the site, are there any you'd recommend as must-reads?

I don't want to favour one over another because I think each person's display of vulnerability is incredibly valuable. It is only when you read all the pieces back to back that you get access to an insight that isn't available through reading just one. I want people to feel the weight of all the stories together.

What would you say is the biggest misconception people have about the female orgasm?

I think the biggest misconception is that if you merely engage in a sexual act with a women, she will automatically come. For example, a lot of people think that if you go down on a woman or have sex with her those things are going to easily result in an orgasm without much thought. Yes, some of the essays detail the easy and frequency with which the writers can orgasm, but there are just as many that express a need for more active and unique sexual interaction in order to come.

What's one big NOPE when it comes to making a woman cum?

The worst thing you could do is to disregard your partner's needs and experience before, during and after sex. You really need to pay attention to how the other person is feeling emotionally and physically throughout the experience. That's what will it [sex] better.

Do you think it's ever ok for a woman to fake an orgasm?

This is a complicated question; the answer to which could be an entire essay! But, I think the most succinct response I can give while acknowledging there's a lot more nuance and thought required than what I am providing here, is that faking an orgasm isn't ideal. Hopefully we can all work towards confidently communicating when we want a sexual experience to continue or to stop in a way that's both assertive and considerate.